LOTR meets HP
by Elwood Penscottie
Summary: ok so LOTR ppl and HP ppl get trapped in Box...hilarity ensues(thank u soo much 2 my reviewers)
1. Welcome to Box

[a/n: ok..my 3rd fic! yay! they all suck but this ones got to be good. yea ok its gonna be really cheesy tho so be prepared...ok after debating this isnt gonna be very serious but not too stupid...not makes-your-head-bleed stupid at least

I did it so you can get this under LOTR or HP...yea...well I couldn't decided either way so I did both.]

"Where are we?" asked Legolas. Four hobbits huddled together, Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo. Gandalf was there too. So was Aragorn and Arwen, Boromir and Gimli.

"Blimey," said Pippin, "It's the whole fellowship...and Arwen."

"Really? I never would have guessed!" added Merry sarcastically.

"Hey, wat're those over there?" asked Frodo. They turned and looked. A gaggle of dazed children stood together about 100 feet away.

"We shall go investigate." said Gandalf.

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

"Where are we?" asked Harry.

"Beats me" said Ron. Hermione just shook her head. They looked around. Just about every character mentioned from the Harry Potter series was there. [a/n: sorry couldnt resist] Everyone, or it seemed like it, from Hogwarts was there. Minus staff, and ghosts, and minor characters. [hee] Draco was there, along with Seamus, Neville, Ginny, Fred, George, Pansy, Parvati and Padma [oh come on, we need some hot chicks here besides an elf maiden], Cho, and Susan Bones [well we _have_ to have the directors daughter!]. Ok minus Susan Bones. Well I don't think I forgot anyone. Ok on with the story!

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

The regal [i dont kno what regal means...hee] Fellowship, and Arwen, marched over to the children. Well, most marched. Gimli and the vertically challenged hobbits scurried along at their heels like Chihuahuas. Except that Gimli was a grumpy, big ass Chihuahua with an axe. The other Chihuahuas has uncommonly large and, um, hairier feet than the rest of their Chihuahua bodies. Anyway....

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

"Where the hell am I?" asked Draco. "Figures I get stuck with a bunch of useless prats like you. No offense to Slytherins. Oh, and you Padma."

Pandma nodded.

Just then a group of adults, a couple with pointy ears, and four skittish Chihuahuas, erm little people, and a grumpy Chihuahua...little man with an axe came to them.

"I am Gandalf the Grey, and this," He motioned around himself to the gathering people. He paused for dramatic effect, "This, my children, these group of people before you,"

"Get on with it!" snapped Draco.

"HUSH YOU FOOL! GANDALF THE GREY IS PAUSING AND BUILDING FOR EFFECT!!!"

"Cough. Anyway, this is, THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING!"

Dramatic music came out of nowhere. Gandalf stood there with his arms dramatically outstretched.

Neville coughed.

"Well that was pointless." said Pippin."

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the throne of-"

"We don't need to know your life story." sneered Draco.

Aragorn bowed his head in shame and walked off.

"I am Legolas Greenleaf, woodelf."

"You're not an elf!" laughed Seamus, "Elves are little neurotic house things that clean and cook and do dirty work!"

Legolas puffed up his chest and walked off with Aragorn.

"I am Gimli, son of Gloin. Dwarf."

No Hogwartian [*snicker*] said anything. The Little angry man with an axe scared them.

"Hmph." grunted Gimli, quite pleased with himself. "Score: one for the Dwarf, none for elf."

Legolas glared at Gimli.

"I am Arwen Evenstar, elf princess." she said in her deep, sexy, elven princess voice.

"Damn she's hot," murmured Ron under his breath. The other boys nodded in agreement.

Aragorn growled, "she's mine" and waved his sword around menacingly.

"I am Gandalf the Grey, as you all know, good Wizard."

"So?" asked a Weasley twin. Pfft, no one can tell them apart.

"Well, aren't you children impressed by me? I have magical powers! Wooo!"

"Big woop," said the other, let's make him Fred. I don't care for George much. Crazy punk.

"What? Well I don't suppose you can top me!" huffed Gandalf.

"Well," said Hermione, "All of us *are* wizards..."

"Well- I- uh- hmph!" Gandalf pouted and stalked off to join Aragorn and Legolas.

"HA! One for children wizards and zippo for Gandalf!" laughed Gimli.

"Oh sod off you great prune of a dwarf." said Gandalf.

"Oooo!" squealed Pansy, "What are those little hairy footed things! Positively adorable! Ooh! Do they bite?"

The hobbits blinked at her, then huddled together. "This can be fun." they whispered to each other. "Psst psst psst psst psst" "Pippin, you're not whispering secret plans into my ear. You're just saying 'psst' into my ear." "shut up Frodo"

So they plotted. Let's see what eh dirty bastards are gonna do. Just kidding. They're clean bastards. :D

"Don't be silly. They're harmless." said Seamus, "Just look at them."

Pansy rushed over to pet them and ogle at them. Pippin, Merry, and Frodo scampered around her happily. Sam sat by himself. He was not into this kind of stuff.

"Ooo! They're sooo cuuuuuute!" she squealed. They barked and laughed a little then stood around her. "What are they?" She began to pet them.

"NOW!" yelled Pippin. Merry jumped on her and knocked her to the ground. She shrieked. Pippin and Frodo ran of and began chasing the Hogwarts students. It's really funny if you picture it. Come on, picture it. OK whatever.

OK so now we have a bunch of kids running for their lives from a bunch of crazed hobbits. yay!

"Bad hobbits, bad!" yelled Legolas, squirting them with squirt bottles filled with water.

The hobbits sputtered and growled and scampered off to laugh at all the silly British Kids. "Silly British kids!"

"Hobbits aren't bad," said Legolas, "They're just playing. They're like normal people."

Draco raised him eyebrow at them and Pansy cowered. Pippin growled. Padma and Parvati squeaked. Hermione looked starry-eyed. Even Pansy had forgotten about the hobbits. Cho change walked up too.

"So, you're a wood elf?" Cho asked dreamily.

"Yes"

They oo-ed and aah-ed.

"What are we doing here?" asked Harry.

****

"Oh, terribly sorry." boomed a voice, **"Forgot to tell you. Quite entertaining watching you all bicker and fight. So anyway. You are all here because I called you here. Do not ask who I am-"**

"Who are you?" asked Pippin.

****

"You are a very stupid hobbit. Smack you!"

Just then a stick came out of nowhere and hit Pippin upside the head.

****

"You ask too many questions! Anyway, you all belong to me now! Muahahahahahahahahahaha! *cough* hack* *wheeze* You are all here for no reason. I have the power to bring you here! I am the author! Complete control! Boosh! Checkmate! Anyway.... have fun and don't expect to leave soo, there is not escaping this place. Yea. um. er. I own you!"

And that was all they got out of the Big Voice. They kept shouting at it but random things kept flying out of nowhere and hitting them.

"We must get out of here!" said Gandalf! Exclamation point? Gandalf shouldn't have an exclamation point after it!

Just then a large building popped up. It said Your New Home on it with big red letters. Below it said Wankers in a tiny off-white print that blended in with the wall.

"Well I suppose that's our new home." said Gandalf.

"Some great wizard you are." said Seamus.

"Sod off"

A young girl walked out of the building. She was average height, weight, and build and was pretty pretty.

"Follow me for a guided tour please." she said.

"And what if we don't?" asked someone in the crowd.

"YOU SHALL DIE!!!!!" she smiled pleasantly, "Right this way then."

"Who are you?"

She smiled, "Ask again and YOU SHALL DIE!!!!"

"As you can see, this first floor has been recreated to look like wood land. Legolas, I think you might feel at home here." Legolas nodded. "Down below to your right is a passage way leading to our mine tunnels. Gimli, you have your home recreated there, along with the Slytherin common room for the students who choose to use it. This way." They walked up a flight of steps. "The second floor is small. For our Chihua- erm- our vertically challenged. As you will see, everything has been made to look like Bag End. There is a section over there for Gandalf. Now up here," They went up another flight of stairs. "Is Rivendell, for Arwen, and um, Aragorn." The kids were more and more amazed and kept chattering amongst themselves. "There is also a house for Boromir. Here we go, up another flight of stairs. This fourth floor is modeled exactly of Hogwarts, but all concentrated on one floor. Up are a few more floors. The 5th has regular dorms, like colleges have. The 6th floor has fancier rooms to be used on *cough* special occasions only. The 7th floor has random pools, ponds, Jacuzzis, and all that water stuff. The 8th has an extensive library," Hermione gasped. "And other learning materials. Level nine contains all material items you would ever need-"

"How about-" began Seamus

"Have it"

"Do you have-" asked Legolas

"Yes"

"I know you don't have this-"

"Full in stock"

This went on for a while. Crazy people. Thinking they can out smart me. pfft!

"Level ten has all sanitary utilities, showers, whatnot. Level eleven is the cafeteria. Every food. Don't try to think of one we don't have. We have it. Then there are several more floors to meet your every whim. Yea. Do it on your own time. Don't kill each others and don't make babies. Other than that I think you're OK. Have fun."

Then she vanished.

"Well, we're off to level eleven. Ta." and the Hobbits Rushed off. That's right, rushed with a capital "R."

Eventually people evaporated to random floors.

And so it began.

[a/n: muahahahahaha! no plot! no rules! boosh! OK seriously, the only faint plot there is is that they're tyring to find a way out of Box. Yes I named the place Box. Why? I've always wanted them all in a Box. natch. Yea so this is just to aid my boredom. Shopping carts, eh?

-EP//JKR]


	2. Shopping Cart

[a/n: wow! i never thought someone would review my LOTR/HP fic never mind like it! woohoo! i feel so special..."i'd like to thank JKR for her characters and JRRT for his phenonomously genius book series insert="tear"ok ive realized that this is gonna be hard to write and keep track of characters so...yea...each chapter wont have all the characters in them

this chap. its gonna have the little british kids running a-mok

muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!]

"What floor are we on now?" asked Ron, huffing behind the crowd.

Fred, that punk George, Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Neville had decided to try to reach the top of the building. Stupid gits. There is no end! Ha!

"I don't know, I lost track on 30." answered Harry.

They reached the top of the stairs and gasped in amazement. The twins looked like they could cry.

****

"I see you have found 'THE ROOM'."

"What's the room?" they asked.

****

"No, no. Not the room; 'THE ROOM' Say it with me."

"No"

****

"Useless prats. Let's see if you get out of here alive! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"K. Talk to you later then, Big Booming Voice."

****

"Sigh."

In "THE ROOM" was anything they could imagine that could cause destruction, except weapons. Nope, don't want anyone dying here. There were fireworks and stink bombs; blenders and talking toasters; shopping carts and skateboards. Everything a "little boy" could want was there.

"Brilliant! Now we can make our trick stuff again...to, er...trick people with the...er...trick...stuff..." said George. He's not too sharp either, that crazy punk.

Boys with anything they can think of plus left to their own devices equals bad. But very entertaining. Pretty soon, Seamus had attached some rockets to a shopping cart.

"All right, who's first?" he asked.

"What is it?" asked Harry.

"Er, a shopping cart."

Just then, a skate park thing appeared.

"I think I like it here," Said Seamus, "Well, if no one wants to do it, then I will."

He stepped into the shopping cart, and bravely put on a helmet and goggles, along with the other gear that extremists wear.

"Ron," he began dramatically, holding out a lighter, "Light me."

Ron shrugged and lit the fuses. Seamus began counting down.

"10....9...8..."

"Er, I don't think this is very safe, maybe we should take cover." said Neville.

"Yea, you're right."

"5.....4..."

They lunged behind a handy rock. How handy!

"3..." With out warning the shopping cart shot off. Seamus began yelling. Now picture this in your heads because I can't make it seem funny with words. So there's this Irish kid, all decked out in pads and helmets and goggles and all that good stuff. He's in a shopping cart with like 10 rockets randomly attached to it. I mean come on! That's hilarious! So then his friend lights the fuse (he spliced them all together into one fuse) and they begin counting down. Then his friends dive behind a rock, where did the rock come from? It just shows up...OK so anyway and the Irish kid begins counting down to his blast off when the shopping cart takes off at like 100 miles per hour when he's on three. This kid's obviously startled and probably needs a new pair of under drawers. So he's screaming his head off and racing around this skate park doing flips and jumps and all that.

Harry, Ron, and Neville and sitting behind this rock, rolling around and peeing in their pants from laughing so hard.

(Remember how Seamus has/had that problem w/ things constantly blowing up? hehe...yea)

So in mid-air, the shopping carts blows. It's amazing. The thing shatters into a million pieces, and being in Box, where "nothing's impossible, just impatible" (Alice in wonderland), it turns into marshmallows.

"Oh! Marshmallows!" Ron said as he ate some marshmallows. "They taste like metal."

****

"Of course they do! What did you expect them to taste like?!? _MARSHMALLOWS?!?_ Stupid git! No, I'm sorry I didn't mean that. Here."

A top of the line flying broomstick dropped in Ron's hands, along with Chudley Cannons junk.

"Coo." said he.

As for Seamus. Well he's dead now. Yep, died from impact when he fell from his shopping cart. Just kidding! Seamus is now with Gimli. I don't know why, he just is.

"Blimey," said Neville, "What happened to Seamus?"

"He's with Gimli."

"How'd you know that Harry?"

Harry shrugged.

Just the Ron vanished while flying on his broom.

"Blimey! What happened to Ron?"

"He's on a secret floor only accessible if the Big Booming Voice calls you to it. There's no other way to get there or get out of there."

"How'd you know that Harry?"

He shrugged.

"Where are the twins?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know? It's not like I bloody keep track!"

"Sorry Harry."

Well, the twins had run off to blow things up and such. They stay here most of the time because it's their "oasis" or something. Don't ask. It's just paradise for them. hey, if you found your paradise you wouldn't want to leave either!

"Well I'm off."

"Where are you going? You're not gonna just leave me here are you Harry?"

"Yea"

"Why?"

"Plot development. You're supposed to find the twins before they go insane and figure a way to kill everybody."

"They're insane?"

"Not yet. But you know what they say, 'Too much a a good thing is a great thing, and too much of a great thing is, uh, really really bad.....and dumb.'" (Taken from Strong Bad-you are my God)

"What?"

"Ta!" and Harry vanished...to the library with Hermione.

"*sigh* well I suppose I'd better develop this plot." said Neville as he sat down and began painting the walls.

[a/n: well that's enough of that! don't expect it to make sense, if you get it, great! if you don't then youre a poop faced liar. j.k no offense to anyone. this is just a time killer for me.

-EP//JKR]


	3. GASP! another elfboi!

Chapter three a- I can't think of a creative title

Woohoo! I got one review for Legolas or Frodo! OK so...I think I'll go with....well I'll ask my friends.

Jedi Kaisa: i'm in a Legolas mood

Queen Laurin: LEGOLAS

ok so I got 2 for Legolas and 0 for poor Frodo, well... Frodo gets a split vote w/ Legolas. Legolas it is.

On with it!

BTW: I have no inspiration whatsoever...

It's nearly midnight and I read my reviews...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE IDEAS!! LOVE YOU ALL!!! ^___^ and it's unanimously Legolas... crazy fangirls. And I will use your ideas, or at least try to.

[a/n: current date: 2-10:: i started writing this 1-31 and i think added the above 2-2 so its a little out of date. sorry for disturb. :D yes i kno thats incorrect grammar.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas wandered about the simulation woods. It was beautiful, very beautiful. But something was missing. Something was different. Something was wrong. He quickly pulled out his bow and shot the nearest tree. The tree exploded.

"Well," said Legolas, "That was....fun..."

Though it is not like a wood-elf to destroy nature, Legolas was having one helluva time doing it. He pranced about shooting random trees and watching the explode. Unfortunately, he was not looking where he was going and fell into a rather large hole.

"I seem to have fallen into a rather large hole. Blimey."

"**Well you seem particularly bright. Good thing you're pretty.**"

"Do my Elven eyes deceive me? Or am I hearing voices... again?"

"**No, you're hearing me. What do you think you're doing shooting my trees?**"

"Well, they made this big exploding sound like _BOOM!_ and-"

"**...You elves must get really bored after living for 3,000 years...**"

"We do. Oh, but we do."

"**Well, I'll tell you what, you stop shooting my trees and... you can stop making my trees explode.**"

"Uh...wait a minute..."

"**It's either that or you can't shoot the forest.**"

"OK, OK. I give. I'll stop shooting the trees."

"**Cool.**"

"Wait!"

"**Sorry deal's done.**"

"Humph!"

"**Oh shut up and stop pouting! Go give yourself a manicure. Or better yet, play in your hole.**"

"Get me out of this hole."

"**No.**"

"Yes."

"**No**."

"Yes."

"**No**."

"You have to."

"**Why?**"

"Because if you don't....erm... I'll shoot your trees."

"**GASP! No! Not the trees!**"

"Don't push me."

"**I didn't. You fell in on your own accord**."

"Yes, well, I meant to do that.

"**Crazy wood-elf...**"

"Hey! I resent that remark!"

"**No, you resemble it.** **And stop pouting.**"

"So...are you gonna get me out of this hole?"

"**No.**"

"No? Just like that? No consideration?"

"**That's not my job. Besides, I |wn5 j00 3|_|= |3 0!.**"

"What?"

"**Never mind. Bottom line is you're not getting out with my help. And just to taunt you, I'm putting one of your fancy-pants Elven ropes here.**"

"But I can't reach it."

"**...**"

Legolas heard footsteps approaching.

"You there! Approaching! Be you friend or foe?"

The footsteps stopped, then quickened.

"Legolas!"

"Haldir!*"

"My dear friend! Could you hand me down that rope?"

"Hahahaha, Leggy's got himself stuck in a hole."

"... Haldir, the rope."

"Oh right." Haldir kicks down the rope. Legolas watches it fall with a smile. Then it all falls down to the ground in a small pile. He stopped smiling.

"I think you missed the point."

"What?"

"You were supposed to hold on to the other end, so I could get out."

"Oh. No matter." Haldir leaned down and outstretched a hand to Legolas.

"Grab on."

Legolas took a hold of Haldir, and Haldir tumbled into the hole along with Legolas.

"... You were supposed to pull ME OUT OF THE HOLE!!!!!"

"Oh, well I thought you were giving me a hand into the hole."

"... You're not pretty enough to be that stupid."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not! Besides, you've been jealous of me since the first age!"

"Have not!"

"Have too!"

Then the fight began. Well, not so much of a fight as a prissy, swat-at-each-other thing. It's all fun and games until someone breaks a nail...oops.

"AAH! YOU FOOL! I worked for hours getting my nails done!"

"Well you deserved it."

"I'm not going to take this from you anymore. I'm leaving."

"Yeah, and I'd like to see you get out of this hole."

Legolas turned and looked up to find Haldir, out of the hole, looking down at him.

"How did you do that?!?"

Haldir shrugged. "I'm not a major character here. I can do whatever I want."

Legolas tried jumping up and down but nothing happened.

"Oh bugger. I wish I was out of this hole.."

He found himself next to Haldir.

"Oh. You"

"Shut up Leggy."

"Stop calling me that...uh...Holly."

"Yeah, well," Haldir busted out his bow and shot Leggy- Legolas in the arm. Legolas looked shocked. They stood there for about 10 minutes. Haldir kept looking at Legolas and Legolas kept looking back and forth between his arm and Haldir.

"What did you do that for?!?"

"You were getting on my nerves."

"!!! Well I never!" Legolas took his dagger and- *suspense* hacked about 1/2 a foot of Haldir's hair off.

This is Haldir's face -- O_O except his eyes are bigger...and his mouth is open in shock...I can't really do it but it'd look kind of like this -- O0O see? It looks weird... but I think you get the picture...

"You- my- but- BITCH!"

Haldir pounced on Legolas. But that's as far as he got. He didn't really know what to do after that. He couldn't hit Legolas and risk breaking another nail. Oh no! So he tickled Legolas. Yep, that's it. Legolas was shrieking and thrashing about under Haldir, but he was relentless. Crazy wood-elves... Then when he pinned Legolas down he pulled up his shirt and began slapping his stomach making Legolas cry. Poor Legolas. Sissy elves....

After a while, Haldir felt sorry for Legolas.

"I-I'm sorry Legolas, my brother-"

"Oh, don't start that brotherly elf crap with me!"

Legolas was sitting with his back to Haldir on the ground, pouting again with his arms folded across his chest. He was still crying, but hiding it, unsuccessfully.

"Please, don't do this to me."

"I'm not talking to you."

"But, this is foolish! We are immortal godly beings! We shouldn't be bickering like this!"

"Sod off. That's not going to work. I'm not talking to you."

"But...and Elven pout can last centuries!"

"EXACTLY!" shouted Legolas as he turned to face Haldir.

"Ha! You talked to me!"

"Did not!"

"Yes you did! And you are now!"

"No I'm not! Shut up!"

"Hahahahahaha!" Haldir got up and began prancing about happily in the wood-elf fashion, as only he can.

Legolas couldn't fight it. He had to get up.

"Can I prance with you?"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Hey! I'm over that! Come on...the wood-elf prance isn't fun with only one wood-elf..."

"Race you to the 7th floor."

"Er...That's a bit random and irrelevant to anything, but...OK!"

So then they run. Up a few flights of steps...yada yada yada and now they're at floor seven. And if you don't recall, floor 7 is the water room.

[a/n: ok so this is about 1/2 of the chapter. this is what i had written about a week ago but didnt want to post b/c it wasn't finished. i'm feeling a little bad that i haven't posted for a while so this is chapter 3a. expect 3b next weekend, or quite possibly sooner, but my parents say im not allowed on the comp cuz i spend too much time on it. :x]

*Idea given to me by *ColeenEnnen*


	4. It's the daiye spa!

"I win!" said Legolas, as he proceeded to do his happy dance.

"Shut it, no you did not. I beat you. I can run faster!" said Haldir indignantly.

"You shut it. Age before beauty...!"

"Well- I- never! What- but- no! I'M THE PRETTIEST ELF!"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!"

"YES I DO!"

"OH YEAH PUNK!?! WHO HAS MORE FAN GIRLS??!" In the back ground Laurin, Cassie, Colleen, and SBGRL started shrieking 'LEGOLAS!' 'I LOVE YOU!' and things that fan girls scream.

Legolas smiled.

"What now biznatch? What now?"

"Shut up Legolas...."

"Oh, is Haldir upset because I beat him twice?"

"I can still run fester than you Legolas."

"Whatever. Hey, look!" and with that Legolas gave an excited squeal.

Level seven was.. . the water room! It was filled with hot tubs and Jacuzzis and spas, saunas, pools, diving board- all the good stuff. And to their positive delight, a bar.

"A SPA!" shrieked Haldir. Before Legolas could say anything Haldir was already through the door.

Legolas was left standing alone because, though he did not tell anyone, he was still upset with Haldir.

Out of nowhere what seemed like a thousand fan girls came out of nowhere. In front were the Patil twins, Cho, and Pansy.

"Hi Legolas!" they giggled loudly.

"Er, hello."

"HE SAID HELLO!" they began to giggle more furiously.

Legolas, with his amazing elf powers, out ran then to the far side of the room. There he found....

....Gollum.

"Gollum! Buddy! Pal! Friend! How are you?"

"Sssh! Stinking elfs _gollum gollum _leaves us alone."

"Don't be silly. Hey what're you doing? Do you realize you're fishing in a pool?"

"Quiet nasty elfs. Gollum knows what we are doing...precious..."

Gollum was squatting near the end of what looked like a pool with rocks around it and a few lily pads in it. Legolas' attention was drawn towards a small whimper.

"Dobby-dobby is scared sir. Dobby does not like Gollum sir." Gollum hissed and Dobby gave a weak smile and laugh and went back to whimpering and wringing his hands. As if on cue, Gollum pulled out a large, silver fish and screeched with delight. Dobby ran away whimpering.

"You can't eat that!" said Legolas.

"Whys not?" hissed Gollum.

"Because it's a wire hanger."

"Dratted elfs..." And Gollum cast aside the hanger.

"So that's when I single-handedly defeated a whole ARMY of orcs...with nothing but my BARE HANDS!!!" came a robust voice behind Legolas. He quickly turned around to see Aragorn, with Arwen in the nearest hot tub together.

"Aragorn! Brother! How are you?"

"Why, err, Legolas! Fine, I'm fine!"

"And Arwen," Legolas quickly turned his attention to the Elvin Princess, "As radiant and beautiful as ever." As he kissed her hand in a very rico-suave way.

Aragorn cleared his throat a few times, while Arwen smiled and laughed at Legolas.

"Yes?" asked Legolas with a look that said "Oh shut up you namby-pamby."

"Legolas, prepare to DIE!!!!" Aragorn lunged at Legolas, and with his magical elf powers, he ended up in the tub next to Arwen while Aragorn fell down through a handy laundry chute. How handy. (I think I used that joke already...)

"Legolas!" Arwen said indignantly, "You're making elves look bad!" and she stormed out of the tub and into a waiting elevator. Wait, what elevator? **Exactly.** What? Oh, never mind.

Legolas felt like he was about to pout when he remembered the D-A-I-Y-E spa and pranced off to join Haldir.

Except Haldir wasn't there.

"Haldir?"

"He went outside."

"Who're you."

"Your mom."

"What? No you're not. My mother is thousands of years ols. And certainly not here."

"Your mom wasn't here last night."

"What? Of course not! Stop this!"  
"You stop it!"  
"You started it!"  
"Your mom started it!"

"HEY!"  
"Your mom started it last night!"

"STOP!"

"OOO! BURN!!"

"I hate you."

"You can't hate me."

"Why not?"

"Because you love me."

"No I don't. Legolas doesn't just love _any_body."

"But you love me!"

"Who ARE YOU?!?"

Just then a light flicked on.

"HALDIR!!! SURPRISE!!!"

Legolas looked at him all blasé-like. "I hate you."

"Oh, Legolas, don't say that. Let's go get a daiquiri."

"Only if you pay and I get one of those nifty umbrella thingies."

"OK fine."

~~~~

Cassie- oh man, what great ideas. It's been so long I cant remember which ones i used. oh wait, I haven't really used any...well, don't worry!

Gill: I hart you more

Rebecca(sorry if i spelled it wrong): i hart you too

Oh man you guys, this is just 3b. I know it's not much and it probably failed your expectations and all, but chapter 3c will be coming as soon as I can write it.

but at least you won't have to wait longer. So it's a good thing I ended it there.

And everyone else who reviewed: I have short-term memory (almost like Dory from FINDING NEMO!)

I HART YOU TOO!!! I HART ALL OF YOU! -hugglez-

;D


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